Book’s (Partially) Up, Toenail Goblins, and Freedom

If you haven’t heard, my book A Pretty True Story About a Wishing Well is up on Amazon. I’m officially on the first page of the humor section so that’s cool, I guess. It’s only the first five chapters, which means there’s really no celebration until the whole thing is up. So I posted it and then felt tormented for 48 hours. Now I’m down to feeling mild dread. I just re-read the first few paragraphs of the second chapter and thought, “Why am I the worst?”

If you want to do me a favor, “thumbs up” my chapters so I can feel something. If you pay to unlock a chapter, Amazon should give you a “faves” crown to give out once a week. Please give me a fave.

I have no idea how that works, to be honest, but it’ll help get me on the “Featured” section. Also, I looked at some other peoples’ work and they charge way less per chapter. I just did the default that Amazon suggested. It’s the difference between like 20 cents and a 10 cents. Sorry, but I’m keeping it. I know if you just stroll two blocks, you’ll find the extra change in a gutter. Or we can just blame Joe Biden.

The plan is to get my entire book up, Lord willing, by the start of summer. Then I’m going to prepare it for release on Kindle and print hard copies. I’ll probably tighten it up a bit before then and hire an editor. Okay, enough book drama.

In other news, my son’s toenail fell off.

My husband had the idea that we should tell him to leave it under his pillow so that the Toenail Goblin can retrieve it and leave him some treasure. I thought we should buy a $17 short sword or a dagger on Amazon and leave it with a note from TNG saying that it was a fine toenail, worthy of an ancient goblin relic. But since it was my husband’s idea, he got to choose.

Feel free to use this Honeychurch family tradition if one of your children loses a toenail.

Finally, I am free. Last July, my son received sea monkeys for his birthday, which I have kept alive up until last week. There were two remaining and while I made attempts to keep their water aerated, I think I threw off their ecosystem by dumping some of their ooze-water and replacing it with my own concoction of salt water. “Oh darn,” I said as I found their two darkened bodies floating along the bottom of the tank. You don’t want to worry about sea monkeys.